Online dating for lonely souls

12 Nov

It means they get a pass for a week or two, or a month. I would say that CPAP machines are the greatest advance in marital joy since the vibrator. This – subscribing -- means you can communicate with people at the site, instead of just studying the profiles, questionnaires, preferences and photographs for free. My preferences are smart, funny, kind, into nature, God, reading, movies, pets, family, liberal politics, hiking; I prefer sober, or sober-ish.It transforms an experience similar to sleeping next to a dying silverback gorilla into sleeping next to an aquarium. So the first morning, eight profiles of men varying in age from 54 to 63 arrived by email.Part of me didn't believe them -- this guy knew we weren't on But then I got it, that my horrible friends were right, and he didn't feel physical with me. I wrote to him, with my email voice high in my throat, saying that maybe it wasn't going to happen, and maybe we should take a break while I went out of town. We stayed in touch by email while I was gone, for a couple of weeks. He asked me out to lunch, and we had an easy, entertaining time. I asked him if he wanted to go for a hike Thanksgiving morning, before the hordes and riff-raff arrived at my house.He said he wanted to pursue this and for me not to throw in the towel. We had coffee in the kitchen with my son and younger brother, and then we had the most beautiful walk. Then in a feat of derring-do, I invited him to the movies that night, and kept my adorable little starfish hand on the space where the arm rest would have been, if I hadn't stealthily raised it when he went to get popcorn.There, I've said it: I wanted someone to text all day, and watch TV with.

It was fascinating, that we did not get around to me until that one question. My pointing this out politely in an email the next day did not sit well.) A strangely high number of them mention that they hope you've left your baggage at the airport -- because, I guess, they are all well! Eight new guys arrived every day, along with a remnants section of men who lived pretty far away.Some of my eight guys were handsome, if you could believe their profiles, and in my case the profiles tended to be pretty legitimate.And the women are not crazy about the men's secret Internet porn lives. Yet union with a partner -- someone with whom to wake, whom you love, and talk with on and off all day, and sit with at dinner, and watch TV and movies, read together in bed, do hard tasks together, and to be loved by. I had experienced varying degrees of loneliness since my guy and I split up. Also, most men a single woman meets have been separated or divorced for about 20 minutes. Most seemed pretty normal, with college degrees, which I don't have, but certainly meant to; some attractive, mostly divorced but some like me, never married, some witty, some dull, sort of like real life.After our breakup, I had just assumed there would be a bunch of kind, brilliant, liberal, funny guys my age to choose from. Surely my friends would set me up with their single friends, and besides, I am out in the public a lot doing events at bookstores and political gatherings, the ideal breeding ground for my type of guy. People don't know single guys my age who are looking for single women my age. Almost everyone wonderful that my friends know is in a relationship, or gay, or cuckoo. The man of my most recent long-term relationship, whom I'd been with nearly seven years, was in a new, committed relationship about three weeks after we split up. Curiously, almost without exception, they were "spiritual but not religious." I thought for a while that this meant ecumenical, drawn to Rumi, Thomas Merton, Mary Oliver.