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17 Feb

It seems that what many non-black people aren’t wanting to admit to themselves are that these cheap claims of having a “preference” is just a mask for the fact that, inherently, you think blackness is unattractive.

Whether it’s because of our negro noses or afros, I am beginning to realize that so many of my friends’ dating preferences are linked to explicit racism and are rooted in anti-blackness.

I found myself frustrated by their lack of understanding, but also frustrated by the fact that I cared at all.

So you can be friends with a black person, and you can call someone “pretty for a black girl,” and you can claim to understand racism but when push comes to shove, you can still have this deep-seated belief that blackness is inherently unattractive.

My thoughts led to the worst case scenarios as I desperately tried to postulate my friend’s train of thought.

Because if this was true, what did they think of me?

Moreover, this racial discrimination also deviates into the form of the sexual dehumanisation of individuals of other racial identities.

Sharing the basic premise, originating from the 'taboo' nature of interracial relations, individuals of other racial groups are classified as forbidden sexual objects; the result of a racial fetish.

The exclusion of races dissimilar to one's own is a main feature of sexual racism, however a reluctance to date inter-racially predominantly spans from the discriminatory views often possessed by those in society, as opposed to purely a same-race individual preference.But how does that make sense with friends who constantly praise Beyoncé and Rihanna for their beauty?Does this mean they that they can dehumanize us into ugly beasts but also idolize us into larger than life entities that aren’t ever really human or seen as desirable life partners?Even if it is argued that there are tremendous challenges in navigating interracial relationships by acknowledging your inherent anti-blackness, shouldn’t you be doing that anyway, regardless of your race or whether or not you are dating someone black (given the fact that all racism is rooted in anti-blackness)?When white people say to “stick to your own race” or claim that “it’s just different cultures” because it’s “less complicated that way” it makes me raise an eyebrow. And why should people of color ever be made to feel ugly because white people inherently lack the sophistication to understand racial depth?