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16 Mar

We ordered bowls of clam chowder in a restaurant overlooking a boat harbor in Southern California, and that first date lasted three hours. After spending quite a bit of time together and some cuddling and kissing on a cold winter’s night, I blurted out my confession.(MORE: Deeper Dating: A New Approach to Finding Love) About halfway through the meal, my insecurities kicked in big-time. ” Obviously these were not words I was planning to say out loud, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit this was something that was very much on my mind. “Sam, I really like you, but I am scared to death about making love with you.But first, I have something to try: Sam and I are going to take an “affordable” vacation — we'll be taking care of a friend's home midway between us.We will be able to “play house” on neutral ground and explore another town where I can see him in action outside of my home and discomfort zone.

On our first date, he had painted a romantic picture of his abilities as a boat captain and sailing instructor, work he’d been doing for the past 20 years, but he neglected to mention that his most recent employer had gone bankrupt.

This often happens because of a crisis, the most common ones being health, financial or relationship, which brings insecurity and fear.” I told her I was managing my life just fine: I owned my home, had a busy career, friends and family, an active social life and respect among my peers. By midlife we are smarter about our finances, and we don’t want someone who is opportunistic about what we have created for ourselves.

But I was missing a sidekick, someone who was an equal and fun, healthy financially secure. The goal should be to establish interdependency, as opposed to , involving an equal amount of give and take at all levels.

“These changes are so multilayered and multifaceted.” She went on to explain that after menopause, many women experience vaginal dryness and atrophy, a thinning of the walls (due to lack of estrogen), which can make intercourse painful.

But she was quick to add that there are treatments to mitigate those symptoms and that they are much safer than previous estrogen replacements, like Premarin.