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“This wholesale sharing and constant transparency deprives us of a certain mystery, of an ability to remain curious about one another,” says Perel. It is a paradox to be managed, not a problem to be solved.” Furthermore, we have come to see sex as the barometer of the health of a relationship – for the first time in history it has become not a function for procreation, but a defining factor in marital happiness.

“It is a real experiment to try to bring together two fundamental human needs – our need for security, and our need for adventure – in one relationship, to ask the same person to make us feel safe and stable, and make us feel playful, mischievous and adventurous.” So, are the two fundamentally incompatible? “And happiness has, in turn, become the defining feature for staying in a marriage or not. Perel’s European upbringing gives her a certain perspective on her subject matter.

When we meet she is sporting a tight, sleeveless, gauzy black top, showing off toned, tanned arms and wrists bedecked in bangles.

Although she has been heralded as a game-changer in her profession, Perel remains humble about her thesis.

She has become the go-to speaker on sexuality and marriage at conferences and festivals across the world, and her TED talk on the topic last year received a million hits in its first week, and more than four million to date.

Consequently, marital intimacy has become burdened with expectations, some of them highly contradictory.

In short, love and security need closeness; passion and desire need space.

“There is a moralistic aspect to infidelity in America, that is not universal,” says Perel.

“There is more emphasis on the lying, on the definition of honesty as confession.” She is currently researching another book, all about infidelity. Couldn’t you just finish this [infidelity] off and move on?